24 February 2008

Who to invite?

My fh and I aren't big on inviting children to our wedding, and since we are on a tight budget, figure that it should be an adults only affair. However, my mom and my fmil disagree. My fmil hasn't been as vocal, but her first list of possible invitees included quite a few teenage family members. My mom, on the other hand, has been very vocal and has even hung-up on me when talking about. She has also had a case of selective amneisa -- forgetting things we have discussed and even imagining me saying things! I don't want to fight with my mother, afterall she is my mother and my parents are contributing the largest amount of money to our wedding. But I wanted that money to be able to cover more than just the food. At the rate we are going, the my fh and I are going to have to cover all costs excluding the food and location. This puts us way over our initial budget. My mom was so upset about the no children thing that she has added an extra $1000.00 to our budget to cover the cost of any teenagers. This is a very generous gesture, but she doesn't seem to understand that even with that extra money my fh and I can't afford the wedding decorations, flowers, and favors that people expect from us. At this point I have hired the cheapest photographer (one that offered a "digital only" package with no albums) and dj we could find. And, what about flowers? I looked at flowers online at Costco, but even their flowers are out of our budget. I love daisies, but they aren't popular right now, so I can't get real prices right now. Costco doesn't have daisies on their website. I am hoping that I can go to the flower district in downtown LA over spring break to look at flowers, but I don't think dasies are popular until the summer. I just want simple white shasta dasies with a few yellow gerbera daisies-- nothing fancy. Then there is wedding cake. I'm not a big fan of cake, and I really dislike the big and gawdy wedding cakes that everyone displays. So, I decided not to have wedding cake. This did NOT go over very well. So, now my moh has volunteered to make me a small and simple cake that we can cut just to make my mom and fmil happy. I'm letting her do it because I don't want to argue with anyone about it. If anyone asks me about the cake I can just say "it's taken care of". Our receptiong dinner includes a viennese sweet table, so I don't see why we have to feed everyone cake on top of that. Ugh. Ok, sorry for the rant. On the upside, I am even more exicted than ever about the honeymoon.


ValleyLove said...

I'm divorced now, but the one thing I learned through the planning process was that it was MY wedding! I wasn't bridezilla, not in the least, but you need to keep on shutting out the comments/opinions of others and do what you want to do. It's your day!

I didn't have kids at my wedding either and as a trade off I had my mom and his mom and step mom act as our flower girls. They loved it, as did all of the guests! Flowers - we did them all ourselves. Check out Shinoda, it's a floral warehouse. Here's their website: http://www.shinodadesigncenter.net/

Good luck. Wedding planning is supposed to fun, so try your hardest to keep it that way!

Lady T said...

let me tell you....i have been looking at a lot of honeymoon options lately! i think its the stress. its got me wanting to escape!

oh how i can relate. my mom is struggling with her large family and the fact that if i keep my current guest count at 125, that would only give her about 40 or so people to invite. actually its a little more bc FMIL does not forsee using her whole 40 allotment. but i dont plan to tell my mother that. i'm going to use that as a buffer for the overage that i know she will have.

i also had the same thing with my mom and the cake. she balked at me serving cupcakes. even after i explained to her that it is "on trend" and Martha Stewart approved!

i've checked out Costo's for flowers too....i have no idea what i'll do about that....

so many things to consider.......

btw: i just realized i had comments on my blog! i had no idea anyone was even reading me, lol. so i just wanted to pop over and say hi! and thanx! i am not one of those snobbish people who doesn't acknowledge comments.....*wink*


Lady T said...

just wanted to let u know....i responded to your comment on my posts....