The Road Less Traveled

My Blog has Moved!

2011-02-18T11:10:00.000-08:00

I will no longer be posting on this blog page. If you are interested in following my adventures as a working mother please visit my new blog at: cultivatingthewonder.blogspot.com

Thank you!

xmas2010

2010-12-12T08:32:00.001-08:00

With Love Chartreuse Christmas Card

Personalize your Christmas cards at Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

We've Moved!

2009-04-28T12:57:00.000-07:00

This post is rather late because I've been crazy busy with the move, work, and school. Our escrow closed on March 19th and we have moved into our new house! We LOVE it. Right now it only feels like our home at night when we go to bed, the rest of the time it feels like we are staying at a resort.

I don't think I will be posting much, if at all, between now and the end of the school year. I've really got to focus on finishing my master's classes and doing research for my paper. Also, on June 16th I'm scheduled to have jaw surgery (yikes!), so I think that I will get back to posting while I am in recovery and can't talk!

This week is State Testing (STAR and CAT6) at our school. Many people think kids don't care about these tests and/or they don't understand the implications of such "high stakes" standardized tests. Below is a note that my Assistant Principal found on the ground during lunch yesterday. It turns out that Amanda is one of my students... we have our 2nd period classes for 5 hours on each day of testing so they get a little sick of the same teacher... She has no idea I've seen her note... but this is a perfect example of how we often underestimate our students!

I will be back in June!

From Bad, to Worse, to Great!

2009-03-08T09:51:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I wouldn’t normally write such a long post about my bad morning, but I thought some of you might find it funny and there are some lessons to be learned. It begins with Thursday night... on my way to my edu leadership class my passenger side window fell down, I didn’t think of it as such a big deal because I knew it was broken and all that had to be done was to open the door panel, push the window back up, and reset the 2x4 holding it up (this is another long story). So, I figured I’d just go to a service station and get help doing this. Ah, but no one would help me without paying them $100 first. So, I just went to class with it broken and had my husband fix it when I got home. When he fixed it the door lock wouldn’t go back in place, so now my passenger side door will not open from the outside. Ugh.

Friday morning…I decided to get to work early so I could use the time to get some of my grades done. While on the 57 freeway I hear a “thunk” sound and about 30 seconds later it came back “thunk, thunk, thunk” – one of my rear tires had blown out. So, I slowly move from the fast lane into the slow lane so I can get off of the fwy, but as I start doing so my car starts shaking violently. So, I ended up pulling over on the side of the fwy at the Lambert exit.

The next series of events: I call my husband and learn that he never got around to adding me to his AAA after telling me to cancel my own. I learn that I do not have my wallet with me. I start to cry.

A CHP officer pulls up behind me and walks over to my passenger side window and asks me to roll it down which, of course, I can’t. So he yells at me to unlock the door, which I try to do but, of course, he can’t open it. So I lean over to open it from the inside, and it still won’t open. At this point I am very frustrated and still crying.

Eventually I get out of the car on the driver side (the officer controlled traffic so I could do so). He is obviously very mad at me and tells me that I should have driven to a service station; I try to explain to him about the violent shaking and he just says to me, “haven’t you watched all the car chases on TV – You can drive on blown tire.” At this point he is laughing at me.

He has me follow him off of the fwy on to Lambert road – I think he is taking me to a service station, but no – he takes me to the parking lot of Kaiser Permanente. Once there, I turn off my car and get out and he says to me, “I suggest you call your husband or someone to get this fixed.” And then he LEAVES!!!! No offer of help, nothing!

I can’t call a towing company because I have no wallet to pay them; I have an idea of how to put the spare tire on, but I didn’t think I was capable of doing it myself.

Long story short – My friend Claudia ended up calling her fiancé for me (he works in the OC), and he was able to come by where I was parked on his way to work and put my spare tire on for me. I actually made it to work before my first class. However, I am still shocked at the lack of help that was offered by strangers – including the CHP officer. I am so thankful for friends like Claudia and Gill. Gill even showed me how to change the tire myself incase it happens again.

The day ended up better than I could have imagined. We had our "Staffulty" awards dinner Friday night and I ended up getting an award from my students that made me cry -- it was wonderful! -- I would have missed this if I had given up on the day and gone home like I wanted to; I'm so glad I went to work and stuck it out!

House Hunting: Step Two

2009-02-14T13:54:00.000-08:00

We started house hunting almost three weeks ago, even though we really don't need to buy until the summer. We figured that we'd get a head start to see what is out there, check out the market, and get a feel for what kind of house we wanted to buy. Well, all of our questions were answered quickly, and we fell in love with a house last week (see earlier post).

So, Tuesday night at 8:30pm we ended up making an offer. We waited all day Wednesday and Thursday and heard nothing. I was a stress case. Our offer expired at 8:30pm on Friday. So, Friday at work, just after lunch I checked my email, and there it was -- the counter offer!

We were expecting a counter offer, in fact we had previously decided that we would be willing to pay up to $10k over their asking price if it got into a counter offer situation. So we were *pleasantly* shocked when this happened:

Asking price was $399,000
We offered $389,000
They countered with -- accepting our offer with them taking the fountain on the front porch with them when they move.

Sure, take the fountain; you can have it! So, we accepted their offer on Friday night, and now we have the long weekend to soak it all in. Tuesday we should get the phone call to sign the papers to get escrow started.

Crazy! It has all happened so fast. We are still keeping our fingers crossed - who knows what can happen between now and Tuesday. I'll post more pics once everything is solid.

~Calioc

We Made an Offer!

2009-02-09T14:42:00.000-08:00

So, we spent some time looking at more houses this weekend, and once again we faced great disappointment. Finding a house we both love, an area we both love, with a price we both love is going to be a challenge!

We thought we found it today... and maybe we have, but there is a big questionmark hanging over it. First, let me introduce you to Earl...

Earl is a lovely 2,800 sq ft home that has an amazing kitchen, a full bedroom and bathroom downstairs, 3 bedrooms upstairs, and a bonus room. She has a beautifully landscaped backyard with a spa and palm trees. She is priced reasonably and is ready for us to make an offer; but...

We think she is a smoker! Yes, when we walked into the garage (attached to the house through a laundry room) we smelled smoke. We didn't smell it upstairs or in the kitchen, but the house has been recently painted... so we need to do more research. We need to see it again and put our noses to the floor and sniff. We will bring our parents to see her next time, we will fully inspect her, and then we will either make an offer or say good-bye and move on to the next one.

UPDATE 2/11 -- We visited her again on Monday, but this time my mom & dad, and my husbands mom & grandpa came with us. We didn't tell them about the smoke, and they didn't notice! After we told them and we talked to the owner about it we learned that the owner does smoke on the back patio and in the garage. She showed us her ashtrays. Then we went out to dinner with our parents to discuss everything.

We came to the conclusion that the smoking isn't as big of a deal as we thought it was since it was all done outside of the house. So...

We made an offer! That was at 8:30 pm last night (Tuesday), and we have not heard anything yet. Ugh. Very stressfull; I've had a migraine all day! Updates will follow...

~ Calioc

The Home Shopping Experience

2009-01-31T17:34:00.000-08:00

So, today was our first time out looking at houses. I have learned that house shopping is a very emotional thing. I have also learned that I am very picky and a bit of a snob.

What we learned from our experience today:

We don't like the houses we can afford in Orange County
We really like one specific area of Corona called "Sierra del Oro"
Bank owned homes are in major need of being fixed-up; when people lose their homes they become wild animals and do horrible things to the property. Smashed windows, torn up carpet, holes in walls, etc...
If you love the house, the backyard is too small, or it is in a bad area
If you love the location and the yard, the house looks like it came straight out of 1983
It looks like we may have to buy a "fixer-upper"; we just need to decide how much fixing up we are willing to do.

We found one home we loved, but the entire backyard was taken up by a pool -- a long narrow pool that if you weren't careful you would walk right into. Not a good place for a family.

We found another one we loved (actually it is just about my perfect house), but it is in a community where the houses are almost touching, there is no parking on the street, and trying to get out of the gated community in the morning would be a nightmare (we might go look at it again).

So... now our agent knows what we like and we will spend every moment we get looking for the perfect house. We are not in a hurry, the market is on our side, and we are pre-approved so we will be patient until we find "the one".

~Calioc

Weddingbee Addiction... is there a cure?

2009-01-27T21:20:00.000-08:00

Hello, my name is Calioc, and I am addicted to Weddingbee. My wedding was over 5 months ago, but my last Weddingbee post was just 15 minutes ago. I've searched high and low for a cure or a 12-step program -- all to no avail.

So finally, I gave in to my craving and turned in an application to be a Weddingbee Hive Hostess. So, now I no longer need to feel gulity posting on Weddingbee because I have a real reason to be there! Yes, I know I really don't have time for an unpaid job, but if it is something I would be doing anyways... I mean I am so busy that I need a break, something I enjoy and yet still makes me feel useful.

So I am now officially a Weddingbee Hive Hostess under the name Caliocteach!

So, what does a Hive Hostess do?

These are the main things you'd do as a Hive Hostess:
- Welcome new members to the hive
- Comment on threads that have no or few comments
- Bump up threads that have no/few comments
- Start threads on days when it's quiet

Thank you to everyone who made this dream come true...and to those who understand that my addiction is perfectly normal and healthy!

~Calioc

Short 'n Sassy

2009-01-25T14:51:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid I let my hair grow long but I always pulled it up into a ponytail; afterall, I was a tomboy. Pictured Left: Me in kindergarten. Right: 4th grade soccer picture.

By the time I got to 6th grade I was sick of people only complementing me when my hair was up. I never really did anything with my hair when it was down, so I decided (with youthful wisdom) to cut my hair short - very short. I don't have a scanned photo, but I pretty much looked like a 12 year boy from 6th grade until I graduated from high school!
I kept my hair like this all through middle school, high school, and most of college. Every once-in-awhile I would grow my hair out, but I always ended up going short again.

The picture above is of me (February 2006) just a few months before meeting my husband.
When I met my husband in 2006 my hair was short, but as soon as a wedding was in our future I decided to grow my hair out again. I always pictured myself getting married with long curly hair. So, I grew my hair out longer than it has ever been. The funny thing is I ended up wearing it up for the wedding anyway!

Pictured Left: Me with my curls at the rehearsal
Pictured Right: My wedding day up-do

So, now we have have been married for just over 5 months (and I haven't had my hair cut since before the wedding); the other night my husband tells me that he likes my hair better short. Wow! I've been told all my life that men prefer long hair. My mom, my friends, and even my mother-in-law have all told me that men like long hair. So, I asked around and it seems to me that a man wants his wife to keep her hair the way it was when he first met her; they want it the way it was when they fell in love! So, short, long, straight, wavy, red, brown, whatever - your man does have a preference that is specific to you!
Before the chop (1/24/09):

After the chop (1/24/09):

So, I did it - "the post wedding chop". My husband loves it and I love it! It is short, fun, sassy, and a little funky. I can wear it simple and sleek for work, or wild and sassy for a night out. Now I just have to decide if I want to color it or add highlights!

~Calioc

Chocolate Cake Challenge

2009-01-20T18:05:00.000-08:00

Jenna aka That Wife, posted a January food challege for chocolate cake and I just had to do it. Some of you may be thinking that making chocolate cake isn't that big of a deal, but the challenge wasn't to make your best Duncan Hines, it was for good old fashioned home made chocolate cake. My life now is much different than how I was raised, and when I saw Jenna's post it brought me back to my childhood. Actually, I think that just about every time I read her blog I am brought back in time. I was raised in a very close knit LDS family; a family that sat down to a home cooked meal for dinner every night, where mom didn't work and packed our lunches each morning before school, and one where the sweets were always home baked and never store bought. And though I am no longer LDS, I do still hold on strongly to those family values. Now that I am married and we are talking about starting a family, the need to bring back those family values is even stronger. My first step towards this -- making my favorite chocolate cake from when I was a kid. Just so you know, I have never made a cake from scratch before and I have never made frosting either, so this was truly a challenge. I never knew the name of it, I just knew it was always wonderfully moist. So, I called my mom and asked her if she still had the recipe, which she didn't but she said she would find it for me. Then, a few hours later there it was, a link in my mailbox for Chocolate Mayonnaise Cake! Yes, you read it right --Mayonnaise Cake! I called my mom to make sure it was the right recipe, or if maybe I was reading it wrong, but it was right. She simply asked me, "how do you make mayonnaise?", my answer, "ummm, I think it has eggs and oil in it", and then my mom said, "aren't there eggs and oil in cake?" So that was it, yes the best chocolate cake I've ever had is made with Mayonnaise. Since I've linked the recipe I won't go into details, so here are a few pictures to enjoy.

The two layers of the cake put together with frosting before the icing (I used an 8" pan instead of a 9", which gave it a little more height).

I grated a Hershey's bar over the top to finish it off and, since I don't have a cake plate, I covered cardboard with tinfoil.

No matter how much my husband and I love chocolate cake, I wasn't about to have an entire cake sitting in my house tempting us all weekend. So, I brought it to grandpa's 84th birthday party at BJ's. I love grandpa, he is actually my husband's grandpa, but since I never had one (my mom's dad died when she was 18, and my dad's dad died when my dad was 14) I have adopted him as my own!

Everyone loved the cake, but to be honest, I didn't tell them it was made with mayonnaise until after they ate it. My husband's family are all very picky eaters and had I told them before they ate it that it had mayonnaise in it the only one that would have taken a bite was Grandpa. So, after they all raved about it, I dropped the mayonnaise bomb - which led to a 20 minute discusion on what is in mayonnaise and why does it taste sour when the cake doesn't taste sour... anyway, they loved it and that's all that matters.

~ Calioc

Learning how to communicate all over again!

2009-01-12T22:32:00.000-08:00

I hate fighting with Mr. Calioc, but sometimes it is just unavoidable. We've said things to eachother that I would never repeat to anyone, yet somehow we manage to forgive eachother and move on. I think this is one of the differences that marriage has made for us; we recover from fights much quicker and with more understanding. There are certian topics that seem to trigger arguments, but the interesting thing is that each time the fights get shorter, quieter, and smaller. Topics that we argue about:

Housework

My Masters Program

Moving (when, where)

Babysitting (and no, we don't have kids yet)

I've learned that we oftentimes push eachothers buttons when we fight instead of doing what we know will end the fight. I believe this is common for married couples; you hurt the ones you love. There are a few things I know I need to work on to avoid making arguments bigger than they need to be: stay calm and not yell, don't walk out of the room or house, give him his space when he needs it, and hug him when I feel like crying.

Our most recent fight was about moving. At the moment I commute about 45 minutes to work and Mr. Calioc drives about 5 minutes to work. I found a house that is closer to my work by about 15 minutes, but it would add about 15 or 20 minutes to my husbands drive. This would put me at about 30 min and him at about 20 min. So, the argument was (this is the abridged version) that he felt that because he knows he will be staying at his job forever we should buy a house that allows him not to commute and that since I will most likely be making more money than him down the road I should be the one to commute.
To give you a little insight into this argument (which has now been resolved) here are the emails between me and his mom:

MIL: Yes, I know how Mr. Calioc feels about commuting. When he got the job in Irvine, he went out and bought a place in Irvine. I did mapquest it and it was 40 minutes from us. Not too bad, but a little far for daycare if that is in the future for us. For us the closer the better, but where ever it turns out that you two live it is most important that you are happy. I really wish a super buy would come up in Irvine, it is such a wonderful place. Even before Mr. Calioc bought there when we would drive through it I admired it, so open and clean.
Have you looked at anything close to Edinger and Jamboree? When we took the dogs over there, there seemed to be a lot of building going on and it looked nice.

Me: Mr. Calioc wants to look further down the 5 fwy by the Irvine Spectrum in Laguna Nigel and Portola. So instead of commuting 45 minutes to an hour to work, I would be commuting 1hr 20 minutes to 1hr 40 minutes to work, but he wouldnʼt really have a commute. I really donʼt see how that is fair. But, oh well.

MIL: Hopefully, when the job market is better for teachers you can transfer into Irvine, providing you want to. That way you both will be close. After you have kids you probably won't want to commute at all. You will want spend as much time as possible with a little one.
Too, I think commuting is a stressful thing for Mr. Calioc, that is why he bought so close to his job. He could have spent way less and had a little commute, so it must be have been that important to him. This is probably the only way you can understand his viewpoint.

Me: As for the house, we talked about it more and it looks like his issue is with value vs. commute. Meaning, that if we get a great deal on a house, then he is willing to drive a little further to work. Anaheim Hills is actually a little more expensive than Lake Forest, Portola, etc… So areas that in his mind are “out of our range” would be Irvine, Tustin Ranch, Anaheim Hills, Orange Hills, Yorba Linda – even though they are all good places to live we won’t have much luck finding houses in “our range”. So, the areas he is willing to look at are ones that would give us the most value for our dollar – in South County that would be Lake Forest, Laguna Niguel, and Portola, outside of South County that would be south/west Corona. I told him that I don’t mind South County as long as we are close to the 5 fwy, and I don’t mind Corona as long as it is in a nicer gated community with close access to the 241 toll road and the 91.
We still aren’t ready to do this until May, but he is super excited because the rates just dropped again.

Okay, so if you actually read all of that then you noticed that babysitting was brought up and that his mom (and Mr. Calioc) thinks I should change jobs to keep his commute shorter! So, tonight when I came home from work Mr. Calioc was on the phone with his mom talking about houses, and sure enough she felt that we were moving too far away from the family. She wants to be our babysitter. My husband knows that is not what I want; I mean, I don't mind family babysitting sometimes, but not regularly during the week. I want grandparents to be grandparents. His family lives in Huntington Beach and mine lives in Temecula, so really Corona would be right between them.

Okay, I'm afraid I'm starting to ramble. I am sure this is going to come up again (and again). Oh yeah, the particular house we were fighting about is in Anaheim Hills, and as of yesterday is now off the market.

~Calioc

I know it's not Martha Stewart but...

2009-01-04T18:08:00.000-08:00

We are going to be published! Okay, so it is only the Daily Bruin, but it's something isn't it? We were married at the UCLA Faculty Center and the Daily Bruin is doing a news article on weddings held there, so they contacted us for an interview and photos. So, for anyone planning on getting married in LA, here is a review for you! We did the interview via email (boy have times changed), so here is the copy:

When did your wedding take place? Our wedding was on 08.09.08 in the evening around 5 pm
Why did you choose the Faculty Center for your wedding? We wanted an outdoor venue that was affordable and that reflected our love of teaching. My husband is a UCLA alumnus, so it ended up being the perfect venue. We also wanted great pictures, and the campus is beautiful. I had eaten in the faculty center for the Los Angeles Times book awards and was very impressed with the food and the location, so I figured it would be worth checking out.
What did you like about the venue? It is all inclusive, the ceremony and reception in one place. The food and service were wonderful, our guests are still raving about the cocktail hour and the service. The Viennese sweet table was to die for! Ali (the manager) made it a very easy experience and he understood my vision.
How many people attended the ceremony? 122 guests were there for the ceremony and reception.
What do you think you will remember most about the ceremony and your experience with the faculty center? Honestly, right after the ceremony Ali (the manager at the faculty center) whisked Daryl and I away into a private room with our own hors d’oeuvres and a bottle of champagne. We were only there for about 15 minutes, but it was the best 15 minutes of the night – we got to spend time with each other as a married couple for the first time before running off to take pictures at Royce Hall. Also, the hors d’oeuvres were amazing!
Overall we will remember the intimate setting with all of the wonderful landmarks of UCLA – our pictures turned out amazing because of the beauty of the campus.
And finally, how are you connected to UCLA? My husband graduated from UCLA in 1997 with a degree in political science and I have attended the book festival there almost every year.

Any other information you would like to include about your wedding would be welcome. We had our rehearsal dinner the night before at the UCLA Faculty Center, 08.08.08, which was also a surprise party for my Grandma who turned 90 on that day.

I love reliving my wedding day! I'm sure everyone else is sick of it, but I will love it forever.

~Calioc

Real Inspiration

2009-01-04T16:30:00.000-08:00

This post was inspired by a blog that I read regularly "For the Lack of Money" - Lady T has been a blogging inspiration to me; she always comes up with cute and functional ideas that seem to fit what I've been looking for.

If you read, or have read, my blog from the beginning then you know that I've posted many photos that were my inspiration. I've never found that one perfect inspiration board, so I just pieced together pictures to create inspiration. I posted in March about my inspiration for centerpieces and flowers, I have a folder on my computer full of nothing but inspiration photos, and I have a collage I made from magazine cut outs.
So, now, following in the footsteps of many brides before me, here are the inspiration boards I made of my own wedding. If I hade found these before my wedding it would have made my planning much easier! I used a program from http://www.bighugelabs.com/ (which I found on Lady T's website). Click on any image to enlarge.

Inspiration board #1: Daisy Love

Inspiration board #2: Wedding Bliss

The 2nd picture on the bottom row of this board reminds me that I never posted about making my veil. I'll try to do that soon.

It is amazing how something that is pictured in your mind turns out perfectly in the end. Each bride has her own vison, and it doesn't matter if you are rich or poor, when a bride sets her mind to it she can make that vision a reality.

~ Calioc

Ceremony and Vows

2009-01-03T15:13:00.000-08:00

A very special friend of mine, known as The Rev, offered to do our ceremony for us. This was one of the best wedding decisions I made. He is a fellow teacher. I believed strongly that I wanted a ceremony that focused on the history of love and one that contained elements of teaching. More of a "lesson on love" than a sermon on love. Mr. Calioc and I decided to put our trust and faith in The Rev and gave him only a few simple guidelines when it came to what we wanted in the ceremony. We let him write it without showing it to us. We heard it for the first time during our ceremony, and it was more than I could have ever hoped for.

If you are interested in reading the ceremony please click on on this link.

~ Calioc

The Knot, The Nest, The Egg...

2008-12-31T11:42:00.000-08:00

I'm sure there are many couples out there that get married and don't have to listen to their families bug them about kids constantly. We are NOT one of those couples. I'm 35 and Mr. Calioc is 33, so according to our families we need to start now. I want to enjoy at least one year of marriage without pregnancy; seriously, we were only together for 2 1/2 years before getting married. At first it was a fairly constant struggle trying to explain my pov; my husband didn't care either way -- we could start now or wait a year. But, both of our families kept bugging us to start now, until...

We live in a nice, but very small, condo in Irvine with a downstairs neighbor that smokes. Every time I walk up the steps I smell his smoke, every time he does laundry I smell his smoke, and whenever we run the AC I smell his smoke. Mr. Calioc smells it too, and so does our cat.

So, Mr. Calioc did some research on pregnancy and 2nd hand smoke; he also did research on ways to prevent the smoke from getting into our condo. Here is what he learned:

Legally, there is nothing we can do because we live in condos and not apartments.
We can replace our filter, but that will only make it smell better, it doesn't actually remove any of the harmful smoke.
We can buy an "air purification" system, but it is generally believed by "experts" that these purifications systems only make the air smell better and only get rid of larger particles that cause allergies, but not small smoke particles.

I am technically a "high risk" pregnancy because of my age, and therefore I need to be more careful (though I am very healthy, so age is not so much an issue).

Second hand smoke can directly effect the fetus and has been linked to birth defects and low birth weight.

So, what do we do? We move! Yes, we have pushed up our timeline to buy a house. The plan is to start looking this May so we can buy before the end of summer. I can go off the pill as soon as we go into escrow, or maybe even sooner. I (knock on wood) don't expect to get prego right away (I was a runner for many years with lots of low weight related female issues), so we need some time to try. Our "ideal" time to get prego is August because I am a teacher and it would be great to take my leave during the end of the school year and have all summer to get used to being a mommy.

Okay, sorry so long. This is a topic that will come up again!

~ Calioc

New Year's Resolutions

2008-12-31T11:28:00.000-08:00

This is a personal thing I am doing, but I'd love to see what other newlyweds are planning for their resolution(s). I know that "experts" say it is better to have one resolution to focus on, but I'm not going to listen to their advice. I've been successful at resolutions in the past; my secret? Writing them down on post-it notes and sticking the notes on my bathroom mirror so I have to stare at it every morning. If you do it for 21 days it can become a habit. Good luck to all that are making resolutions this year; now here are mine.

1. I am going to start running/jogging again. My initial goal is twice a week, and hopefully I can increase that over time.
2. I'm giving up all food and drinks in which I do not understand the ingredients -- if I can't make it, I won't eat/drink it.

The rest of these are more goals than they are resolutions, and some of them I set well before the new year came upon us, but I thought it might do me some good to write them down as well.

3. We are going to buy house by the end of summer.
4. We are going to start (trying for) a family as soon as that house is in escrow.
5. I am going to finish my master's program and project (even if it kills me!)
6. I am going to update my blog on a regular basis.

Okay, that's it for now. I'm sure I will think of more later and add them. So, what's your new years resolution(s)?

~ Calioc

Happy happy, joy joy!

2008-12-06T17:11:00.001-08:00

I am done with this semester of my master's program. I turned in the first 3 chapters of my master's project, and I am still alive! Thank you to everyone that encouraged me when I was depressed and convinced I would never finish. I only have 2 semesters left and the hardest part is done!!!!!
I should have more time to blog now, unless the holidays take over. I will say that I'm very happy that Christmas shopping will be easy this year -- wedding pics for everyone! I'm in love with mpix.com -- way better than shutterfly, photoworks, or mypublisher! I made the mistake of ordering albums for our parents using mypublisher and we are very disappointed in the quality. We used them instead of mpix to save money, but I really don't think it was worth it.
Professional quality prints at mpix start at 19cents each and 5x7's are 99cents each. Well worth it!

bye for now!

Makes me sad...

2008-11-15T17:30:00.000-08:00

My husband sent this video to me. We are both teaching compassion in our classes this week. I used the news video to help get my students on the emotional level needed to write about compassion. Thought I'd share it with you.

Click here to view the CNN News Video of Polly the Kitten.

It makes you wonder about some people. Why? Many of my students related it to the symbolisim of the mockingbird in To Kill a Mockingbird.

Is this depression?

2008-11-12T21:19:00.000-08:00

I'm not exactly sure how to go about writing this, so I'm just going to write. I think I'm depressed. Well, maybe depressed is too strong of a word. I have nothing to be depressed about. I am happily married, I have a great job that (so far) has not been affected by the economy, and I now have two families that love me.

Yet, my usually energetic, take on the world, I can do anything attitude is failing me. I'm tired all the time, I've cancelled on two parties this month, and I spent my 4 day weekend doing nothing. This is not like me. Ugh. I know that some of it may stem from the dislike of my master's program that seems to be growing; but that can't be all of it.

Have you ever felt like this? I feel like I am always the most responsible person -- the one that gets things done, the one everyone trusts; but I don't want to be that person right now. I want it to be okay for me to flake, for me to crawl into bed and let everything fall apart without feeling guilty. But I can't.

I talked to my mom about it a little, but my issues always seem so trivial after talking to her. She always mentions my brother... now that could be its very own blog. My brother.

My brother was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder when he was 22 years old; he is now 33. He is currently living in a dual diagnosis group home and is attending outpaitent care 5 days a week. He's trying to get a job at Starbuck's and interviews this week. They agreed to interview him knowing that he has a felony on his record and lives in a group home -- kudos to them.

I really don't know where this post is going. I think I just needed to write without a set purpose. I cancelled my personal training appointment tonight and I've already decided not to go to my master's classes tomorrow night. On Sunday I'm going to my parent's house. I'm hoping that makes me feel better. Ugh. Bleh. Thanks for reading, sorry for not being my usually happy self.

Calioc

I can't believe I'm done!

2008-11-10T22:22:00.001-08:00

Yes... I actually finished writing all of my thank you's! It only took me 3 months :-)

It felt so good writing that last note; like a huge weight is off of my shoulders. Now, I need to start working on Christmas cards. Yup, we are going to use a wedding picture for the Christmas card. I also need to start working on creating our wedding album. I think we are going to use mpix.com to create the album. I have a friend who is a pro photographer that is going to help me design it. We purchased a digital only package from our wedding photographer, so I have to purchase any albums or pics separatly. Which, by the way, is great because it turns out that I don't like our photographer! I did some VERY TASTEFUL boudoir photos for my husband's wedding present, and I really wish I had used her as my wedding photographer, but I had already signed a contract with the guy that did our engagement photos. C'est la vie.

I am going to try to update more regularly -- all of the mundane and crazy details of married life. If anyone ever has any ideas about what you want to know or hear about - just post a comment! Now that I've joined the married club I am sure I will have a different audience, or maybe those of us that have been following eachothers wedding blogs will continue to follow our married blogs.

The dress dilemma is still on... I'll keep ya updated.

Bye for now, Calioc

What to do with the dress?

2008-11-10T08:52:00.000-08:00

First off, my dress has no garment bag -- it is just hanging in my closet like any other dress. The no garmet bag thing is a fairly long story that I wrote about earlier. I have two major stains on my dress: 1) the train and bottom of the dress is pretty much grey and black from dragging on the floor 2) I did spray tanning before the wedding, so some of it rubbed off on the dress -- mostly on the inside of the dress, but a little at the armpits.

So, the issue is -- what to do with the dress? The dress with alterations and tax ran me about $750.00. It will cost me about $200 to get it properly cleaned. According to Weddingbee, one of the best places for dress cleaning is Wed Clean. I've called around, and their prices are within range of everyone else.

If I keep the dress, I need to get it cleaned. If I sell the dress, I need to get it cleaned. Places like the Goodwill won't take the donation unless the dress is cleaned. Most places that sell dresses online charge a posting fee (about $25.00).

I could keep it and not clean it -- but why? I could just throw it away -- but OUCH! I mean, I've never paid this kind of money for a dress before and it just seems wrong to throw it out.

What should I do? I'm very conflicted by this. If I had an overwhealming feeling to keep the dress for sentiment or possibly my daughter, then this wouldn't really be an issue. But I don't feel that way, but I also don't feel like I should just get rid of it either.

Advice?

happily ever after

2008-10-19T09:41:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone in blog land! I've been MIA with work and worrying about life, so I haven't had much of a chance to even read the blogs let alone update my own. It has been over two months now and people keep asking me if I feel different now that I'm married. The answer is no. I feel exactly the same. Maybe it is because we lived together for over a year before saying "I do", but there isn't this big "OMG we're married" -- it just feels normal; right; the way it is supposed to be. There were a few big moments:

Opening our joint checking account and putting eachothers names on things
Getting my new SS card and Driver's License
Preparing to buy a house together

And... now everyone is talking about kids. I'm 35 and I'm not getting any younger (so they tell me). We've talked about starting right away, but have decided to wait at least a year before trying. Our parents, actually it is mostly his parents and grandpa, are pushing for us to start sooner. His parents even offered for us to move in with them so we could buy a house sooner and get started sooner! Ugh. Never!!

I am also in the middle of working on my master's degree, which isn't really going very well. Because of all the wedding stress over the summer I ended up getting an incomplete in one of my classes, and I have until December to complete the last paper and get it turned in. I'm also having a hell of a time with my master's project. I just can't get into it. Whatever had me motivated to start my master's in the beginning is no longer there.

I've sent out one wave of thank you cards (For gifts we recieved prior to the wedding itself), but the rest are sitting in my living room staring me down. I thought I would be all excited about writing them, but honestly now it feels more like a chore. I'd rather do the dishes than write thank you's. Isn't that horrible???

Okay, so if anyone is reading this, what should I post about next? I'm pretty sure I never finished my wedding day story, or should I post about the honeymoon? What do you want to read???

The Wedding Day

2008-09-12T21:10:00.000-07:00

I'll be honest with you, my wedding day memory isn't as crystal clear as my wedding pictures. Everything happened so fast; like the entire day was on fast forward. In the morning I had my cup of tea as we waited for Dionna (the make-up and hair artist) to arrive. It was not as stressful as I had expected in the morning because we planned our time out really well; Dionna was scheduled to arrive at 7am and we needed to be at the UCLA Faculty Center at 2:00 pm (the W is only 1 block away from the UCLA Faculty Center). We all got are hair and make-up done on time; include my mom and mother-in-law. I also finished making me veil (I will save the details on this for another post)!

The only issue that I know of (remember, my wedding day coordinator Elaine dealt with all of the real issues that day) was that my photographer seemed to just not listen to me the whole day. First, he didn't set up the pre-wedding pictures in the location we had discussed. Elaine had to argue with him until he finally moved to the original location, but once he was there he didn't use it the way we had discussed. I'm still a little upset about this. Overall the pre-wedding pics turned out nice, but we should not have had to argue with him about it. The other issue with the photographer was at the end of the night. I only paid for him to be there until 9:15pm, but instead of just leaving at that time he decided to try to talk me into paying him more to stay later. Even after I told him to leave, he kept bugging me -- mind you at this point I'm not in the mood to make decisions. Elaine talked to him, and he decided to stay without the extra pay. Weird. The reason why I didn't really care is because one of my friends, Carolyn Love, is an amature photographer and she had her cameras there. Carolyn took all of the "getting ready" pics. Either way, it all ended up working out. I will admit that I do love most of my posed photos, but I am not super happy with my candids.

Once we got to the faculty center, the girls all got dressed. It was actually a lot of fun! My friend Carolyn Love took pictures of us getting ready. Once we were all ready we took our wedding party pictures and some family pictures. We also did a staged photo of Daryl and I seeing eachother for the first time. That was actually kind of fun. I hid behind a tree while the photographer posed Daryl, and then I snuck up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder.

Then there was the ceremony, which I must say was amazing. I will write about that later. Goodnight!

Pro Wedding Pics are Here!

2008-09-10T22:27:00.000-07:00

I know it has been awhile since my last post. I've been crazy busy with work and school. I got my professional wedding pics over the weekend! There are almost 400 of them, so I picked some of my favorites and posted them on a wedding pictures site. If you are interested in seeing our wedding and honeymoon pics go to http://singhiphotos.shutterfly.com/ The tabs to go between the different sets of pictures is at the top. To view an entire album, simply double click on any picture in the album.

Enjoy!

Excitement the Day Before

2008-08-30T10:46:00.000-07:00

We've been married for 21 days now; we've been back from our honeymoon for two weeks, and today is the first chance I've had to write a post! I'm going to write several posts on the wedding and honeymoon so I can break it up a bit. I'm going to write about the good and the bad -- so for those of you who want to keep your rose colored wedding glasses on, I will warn you before I post the bad side by putting that section in between ** symbols.

Overall: the wedding and reception were absoloutly amazing -- beyond anything I had imagined while planning. The honeymoon was perfect -- I am so glad we decided to do an all inclusive. I highly recommend the UCLA Faculty center for weddings and receptions and I also highly recommend going to Sandals Ocho Rios for your honeymoon!

Day 1: Settling in and the Rehearsal
UCLA is just far enough away from the OC that we had to get a hotel room the night before the wedding. My bridesmaids and I decided to get a 2 bedroom suite at the W rather than getting separate rooms. The plan was to check into the W in Westwood at 2:00pm (the check in time we were given when I made the reservation), go up to the room, unpack, relax a bit, and then go get our nails done at 3:30. The rehearsal was scheduled for 6:00pm, so this would give us plenty of time to get ready for the rehearsal.

**
So, we arrived at the hotel around 2:30 pm and first there was a problem with my credit card. When I travel I don't carry all of my credit cards with me, so since we were going to Jamaica for the honeymoon I didn't think it was necessary to bring everything in my wallet, so I cleaned it out. I only brought one credit card with me, one with $1000 available on it - just enough to cover our $650 hotel room. So I gave the guy my card when we checked in and he said it was declined. I was shocked, so I asked him how much he was running it for. He told me that they run it for double the expected cost at the end --so he ran it for $1400! I explained to him that when I travel I don't bring my big cards with me, so I only brought one that would cover the cost of the room and a few incidentals. He told me (three of my bm's were with me: Lisa, Meghann, and Nicolle) that I would need to put the $1400 down or I could not have the room. Then he proceeded to tell me that "the large suites are generally reserved for their high end clientel". Seriously, was the insult really necessary? After a bit of arguing with him, and me asking twice to speak to his manager (which he never let me do), I finally gave him my visa check card, so they could take the $1400 out of my checking account while we stayed, and then I could pay the balance on my cc. He threw out a few other insults while he was at it; one about how he has never rented out a suite for only one night, another telling us that we would have to sign a form promising not to "trash" the place or have more than 4 people at a time in the room, and another reminding us that there could be no noise after 10 pm. Seriously, how old did he think we were? I am pretty sure he decided that we were not the "proper clientel" for the W and decided to treat us like trash. After all of that he proceeded to tell us that the room was not ready and that we would have to come back at 4:00! So, we left our stuff with the bell hop and went off to get our nails done.
**

I love getting mani-pedi's! It was a lot of fun to sit there with my bm's and be pampered and to relax after the bs at the W. We were looking forward to getting to our room and getting ready for the rehearsal. So, we get back to the hotel and get our room keys. The bellhop said he would deliver our bags to the room, so we only carried up what we needed to get ready. We went up to our room, and it was big and beautiful but...

**
It wasn't the room I had requested. It was a smaller room than the one I had put a deposit on. I specificaly requested the two bedroom suite with a separate sitting room so the make-up artist would have a place to work on the day of the wedding. I was told that would not be a problem since I made my reservation 6 months in advance. At this point I was frustrated and just wanted to get ready for the rehearsal - so Nicolle and I started getting ready. Lisa and Meghann (I had 4 bm's but Kara met us at the hotel later) decided that they would try to take care of the room situation. In the meantime, our bags were delivered -- but 4 of them were missing! This part is really long, so I'm not going to get into the details, but the short of it is that while I'm getting ready my bm's told me that we would be changing room right then and there. So, I threw on a robe and they took me to the new correct room and they took care of making sure all of our luggage got to the new room.
So, we continued getting ready in the new room. Then I get a call from Elaine (my day of coordinator) saying that the rehearsal would have to start a little late because the ceremony area was being used. This was good news because we were running late due to the room changes. As we were almost ready to leave, the bellhop brings up 3 of the 4 "lost" bags and then tells us that they can't give us the 4th bag because there are wine bottles in it and they don't allow guests to bring their own alcohol. What? Who are they to look inside our bags? I wasn't the one to deal with this - Lisa got on the phone to deal with it (she is a travel agent and she used her status to get things done!). Eventually they delivered the 4th bag to our room and they told Lisa that they were going to give me a $100 room credit.
**

Okay.. I need to take a break now. I will finish this post later (8/30/08).

Time to continue...(8/31/08)
We arrived at the rehearsal around 6:30 and everyone else was already there. Apparently Daryl thought for a just a moment that I had gotten cold feet! Elaine made sure the rehearsal went well and it was actually a lot of fun. My dad was very nervous and had a hard time walking at a slow pace, but eventually he got it.

After the rehearsal we did the dinner. It was in the same location as the wedding, but in a different banquet room. They had it decorated beautifully and the food was amazing!

I could ramble on about it forever, so I'm just going to give you the highlights. The best thing about it was having all of our family there, because we knew that on the wedding day we would not be able to spend time with them. Daryl's parents had a bottle of Dom that they had been saving for a special occasion, so we broke that out at the rehearsal - it tasted like honey!
His mom also made blue and gold cookies shaped like flowers that were used to decorate the center of the tables -- they tasted great.

The food was excellent, so it was a good precursor to what would happen the next day. For me the biggest highlight of the night was surprising my grandma with a birthday cake and gifts -- it was her 90th birthday on 08.08.08; the night of the rehearsal. She was so happy and shocked!

When the night was over I had a special gift for Daryl that I gave him and told him not to open until he was alone. We had already exchanged our gifts to eachother the day before - I got him a Citizen Eco Watch and he got me diamond earrings. The rehearsal coudn't have been any more perfect than it was.

Okay, I will post separately about the wedding and honeymoon. Bye for now!

Update 09.01.08

So, the girls all go back to the hotel room to have our slumber party. Which would have been perfect except that I noticed that my dress was hanging outside of its garment bag and I decided that I wanted to get everything ready for the next day. At this point we realized that the garment bag was missing! Somehow as everything was being transferred from the other room, the garment bag got lost. Apparently, no one thought to put the dress in the bag before transporting it. I made the mistake of assuming that the hotel had made this mistake and I yelled "how stupid are they carrying a wedding dress 4 floors in an elevator without putting it in the garment bag!" When all of a sudden my moh starts crying -- how was I supposed to know that she was the one that did it? Anyway, this caused some drama, which eventually worked itself out with a long bubble bath, a long talk, and some champagne. In the meantime, the W hotel is still looking for the garment bag which was left in the room (btw -- this was not one of those plastic cheapy garment bags, it was a nice fabric one with a special pocket for the veil). The following morning my wedding coordinator, Elaine, brought me her garment bag to borrow for the day -- we had to transport the dress from the hotel to the wedding site where I would be getting dressed.

Okay -- I will finish this in a new post!

Wedding Pics...

2008-08-20T19:03:00.000-07:00

I only have a few that are worth posting... who knows how long it will take to get the professional

ones!

I will say that every thing turned out even more beautiful than I ever imagined! :-)

Just a tease...

2008-08-18T22:27:00.000-07:00

No time to post for awhile, but here are a few honeymoon pics for fun!

Bye Bye for Now

2008-08-06T22:03:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my bridesmaids brunch and spa day, Friday is the rehearsal, and Saturday is the wedding. I really can't wrap my head around it all. I have moments when it hits me, like my minor freak-out Monday at the dentists office, but mostly it doesn't yet seem real. I'm sure it will all seem very real soon.

So, this is my last post until I return from the honeymoon! Ocho Rios here we come!

Thanks for everyone's encouragment, advice, and comments. You have all made this journey much easier and more interesting.

Bye bye for now.

Programs are Done!

2008-08-06T06:35:00.000-07:00

Making the programs was a family affair. After printing them, I took everything down to my parents house and we put them together assembly line style. The best part about this was seeing my brother so happy to be involved. Here are the details:

Cover: Stardream Quartz with aqua printing (I used my HP InkJet 932c)
First layer: Vellum
Middle layer: Copy paper (I cheated and made the copies at work, and used their paper cutter!)
Ribbon from Jo-Anne's (50 cents a spool)

After looking at templates in Illustrator, Publisher, and MS Word, I ended up going with the Word template. I know that isn't very creative, but what I wanted was so simple.

I printed 100 programs for 120 guests and I've instructed my fh's sisters to hand one per couple or single. The Venn Diagram on the last page is printed on the Vellum. I think they look very pretty, but like my brother said, most will end up in the trash or on the floor of people's cars.

Table Names and Escort Cards Part II

2008-08-05T09:14:00.000-07:00

The escort cards are done, well except for one person who called LAST NIGHT to say her husband will come with her. My moh did all of the handwriting on them for me.

We color coded the cards for the meals, but we also decided to add a stamp to the back with the meal choice. I found menu stamps at papersource.com and then used a Versa Magic Multi-Surface Chalk Ink Pad to stamp the escort cards (in Sea Breeze). I had tried other stamp pads, but they would just smear off of the Stardream surface.

The table names are schools where we have either been students or where we have worked (in some cases both). We are seating my side at tables with my fh's schools and his side at tables with my schools.

On the back of the table names we put our school picture and some interesting info about us from that time.

I found the daisy holders on ebay for cheap -- they are really seating card holders, but they work pretty well for holding up the table names.
We thought this would be a nice way to tie in our Education Theme without it being too cheesy!
~ The only project I have left to do is making my veil! I've finished our programs and I will blog about them later today!

Sweet Things

2008-08-03T21:51:00.000-07:00

On Friday my moh and I spend the ENTIRE day making my wedding favors --white chocolate daisy suckers. They look and taste amazing! Instead of posting about the entire experience, I'm just going to post lots of pictures. Enjoy!

This is what 150 suckers in a box looks like!

Daisy Treats

2008-08-01T23:21:00.002-07:00

I don't have time to blog tonight, but I wanted to show the world what me and my moh worked on all day today. More to come...

Making that hair Bling!

2008-07-31T15:10:00.000-07:00

I was at the mall the other day and I saw these beautiful hair pins with crystals and beads. I thought they would look lovely with my curls and my dress. So, I asked the sales girl how much they were... I gasped... $35.00 each plus tax. I would need at least 6 of them... they were sooooo small...There was no way I could spend over $200 just for some hair bling. So, I decided that I could make my own hair bling!

First, I must give you some back ground information. One of my hobbies is making jewelry. I've been making it since about 1996 and I am pretty good, but it is an expensive hobby, it is hard on my eyes and finger-tips, and I never found a way to make any real money at it; so, it remains a hobby. I made my best friends wedding jewelry a few years ago, and I've made lots of bridal party jewelry. However, due to time restrictions I did not make my own bm's jewelry; instead, I found someone who makes a similar style to myself and I hired out! Okay, so I got a little off topic.

The point is that I have tons of swarovoski crystals and gold wire just sitting around my house. So here is what I managed to come up with:

9 crystal hair pins! I have no idea how much they cost me; the pins were left over from my hair trial, the crystals and gold wire I bought years ago and was just sitting around not being used. So, in a way they were free. I made 3 of the 9 pins with Pacific Opal crystals, which is the color I had my bridesmaids jewelry made of. This is a fun project that I did while watching TV, it was very relaxing and a bit theraputic as well!

Bustles, Buttons, and Beads

2008-07-30T12:05:00.000-07:00

I got rid of the butt button! I decided to take a risk and fix the bustle on my dress myself. After perusing many websites on the topic of bustles, I figured that the simplicity of my dress would allow for a single point french bustle that would not require a professional seamstress to do (see image below on the right). First, I had to remove the butt button and the loop from the dress.

Though this was easy, I was not pleased with the black/grey residue it left behind. I tried using Oxiclean on the spots, but it only faded it and did not actually get rid of it. There are two things keeping me from crying about this A) from a distance the stain can not be seen B) I still have to take my dress to be cleaned and pressed before the wedding.

I bought the supplies I would need for my bustle at JoAnnes:

very fine bead needles (thinner than regular needles since the fabric is so fine)
clear thread
clear nylon snaps
off white ribbon
Stop Fray glue

The rest of the supplies I already had at home: Off-White thread, pins, swarovoski crystals, scissors, seam ripper.

After removing the button I cut a length of ribbon and sewed a snap on to it; I then sewed the other part of the snap to the underside of the dress on the lining (underneath where the original butt button was) and a small piece of ribbon above that to create a loop.

Then I took the ribbon with the snap attached and sewed it to the underside of the first layer of my dress -- in the same spot where the original loop was. By folding the fabric in half so the seams met, I was able to determine that this was the center of the fabric. I used the clear thread here and then added a crystal to the outside so it would be easier to find. Picture on the left is of the underside of the dress. Picture on the right is what it looks like from the outside -- the crystal does not photograph very well, but it can be seen and felt easily.

To bustle the dress: Lift the outer chiffon layer where the crystal is and bring up underneath itself to where the button and loop are on the dress lining. First snap the button, then pull the ribbon through the loop and tie. The first picture on the left shows what the loop and snap look like underneth the chiffon - if you look real close you can see the black residue. The other pictures are of the dress bustled.

Since I'm not wearing the dress, you can't see the whole effect -- but this is pretty much what it will look like. I used the Stop Fray on the ribbon and let it dry before testing the bustle. It took me about two hours to do this -- a little slow because I was so concerned about messing it up.

Let me know if you have any questions! I am not a seamstress, but thankfully I was in girlscouts for 10 years and I learned a little bit about sewing by hand and I learned that I can do anything if I put my mind to it!

My beautiful box...

2008-07-29T23:03:00.000-07:00

My card box is done! I ordered a custom card box from Etsy seller SheaChicDesigns and received the email today that the box is finished. I sent her pictures of my flower arrangements and bm dresses, and then let her design it on her own.

Isn't it lovely! I can't wait to see it in person.

Now that summer school is done, I've been frantically completing all of the diy projects that I've been planning for the wedding. Time to stop talking and start working. I will post about them later in the week (hopefully tomorrow), but for now here is a list of what is in the works:

Finish the Escort Cards
Finish the Seating Chart
Make the Table Name Cards
Finish the Bustle on My Dress (I've decided to do it myself - gasp!)
Make My Veil
Make Crystal Hair Pins
Design and Make Programs

In addition to all of this, I still have a gazillion phone calls to make. I have to order a wedding arbor (I thought I had found a place, but they've stop returning emails and phone calls). My aisle runner came in the mail today, so now I have to decided if I will leave it as is, or try to personalize it. Fh and I also need to do some shopping for the honeymoon.

Today we took our second dance lesson! It was so much fun; I can't wait to do it for everyone.

Okay, that is it for now. I will be posting lots of pics and other stuff throughout the week.

Escort Cards, Step One...

2008-07-24T23:42:00.001-07:00

So, after rethinking my entire daisy sucker in a bucket idea, I've finally decided what I would like to do about escort cards. First, I decided that I would like the cards to be different colors to represent what the guest would be eating. Silver for Beef, Gold for Chicken, and White for Vegetarian.

Then I had to find a way to tie in my turquoise color and my daisy theme. I did this by having my student aid (gotta love free labor!) use a daisy punch on stardream card stock to create little daisies.

We then used Martha Stewarts glue pen to glue the daisies on to the upper corner of the card -- one on each side to give it a 3-D effect.

The next step... adding the guest names and table names. This was a simple project to do. I already had the daisy hole punch from work, the cards cost $2.25 in packages of 25 each from Paper Source, so I spent a total of about $14.00 on the cards, the lagoon stardream paper used for the daisies was 50 cents -- it was a sample sheet I purchased from Blue Dot. I spent about $4.00 on shipping, so in all the cards have cost me $18.00 so far. Stay tuned for "Escort Cards Part II".

Let's eat cake...

2008-07-22T21:38:00.000-07:00

On Saturday on one of my bm's, N, went with me to LA. We paid the balance on my flowers and we finalized the details on the wedding cake. I burnt my hand today, so I really can't type very well; therefore I will be keeping this short. We took some pictures at the bakery and I finally got a decent one of the cake.

N is on my left - in front of the bakery. The sample cake has 3 tiers, but mine will only have two tiers. i love the lady bug! It is white cake with a fresh strawberry fillng. The icing is whipped cream. What kind of cake are you having?

Duck, duck, goose!

2008-07-17T22:32:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow my fmil and my mom are coming over to do the seating chart. Wow, I can't believe it is already that time. I think I am starting to get nervous; I had a migraine this morning and now I have a tummy ache. My escort cards came in the mail today, not that it means much because they are blank... the rehearsal dinner invitaitons also came (they are also blank), and our guestbook came! It was a busy day for USPS. I will take pics of everything tomorrow and do some updates. The seating chart adventure shoud be interesting. My venue only holds 13 tables, with a maximum of 10 people per table. We wanted 8 per table, but it looks like we will need to have 9 per table.
More updates to come soon...

Random butt button...

2008-07-14T15:11:00.000-07:00

So, my fitting went great -- the dress fit perfect and there is even a little room for me to lose some weight, not that I plan to, but I have a tendency not to eat when I am nervous. Fitting aside though, there was a different problem that I had not anticipated. I call it "the random butt button". When I discussed with K (my bm that did the alterations) the bustle, I expressed to her my desire to use a clear snap and to do a "pick up bustle", preferably underneath "french style" (see drawing on left).

Only one layer of my dress needed to be bustled and the fabric is a very thin silk chiffon, so there would be no weight on the button. Well, when I tried on my dress I noticed a very large dime sized button on my butt -- not what we had discussed (see image of butt button above).

Above are images of the bustled butt button. It turns out that my moh told K that she was concerned about not being able to find the bustle and told her that she thought the snap would come undone. So, rather than K calling me to see what I wanted -- she did my bustle the way my moh told her to! When K saw the disappointment on my face (moh was in the other room) she immediatly knew she had goofed and apologized for not calling me first. When I mentioned it to moh her response was that she thought that it didn't really matter as long as she could see the button easily to bustle -- I mentioned that I had three other bridesmaids to help and one of them put the bustle on my dress, she then said that she thought a snap bustle would come undone. I dropped it with her at that point. However, this morning after thinking about it I called K and told her that I want to redo the bustle, the way I originally planned. The only problem is that the fabric is so thin and is fragile where the original bustle button and loop were sewn, that we won't even be able to take the original thread out without leaving a decent sized hole.

So, K thinks she can leave the thread in and create the new bustle over the original. I'm not even going to tell moh -- I'm just going to have K bustle it for me on my wedding day. K is very apologetic for not calling me about the changes. I still can't believe that my moh thought that she had the right to make changes to MY wedding dress!

I am still very upset about this; I love my moh dearly, but I can't understand why she would do this. She didn't even call me and tell me that she had made the changes, and K didn't think to call me and tell me moh had asked her to make changes. And, no she is not blind and she sees perfectly well with her contacts, and I have three other bridesmaids that can help, and my dress only has one bustle!!!!

Okay, vent is done. I'll write more later.

Final Fitting!

2008-07-13T09:31:00.000-07:00

Today is the day I get to see what my dress looks like on with all of the alterations completed and the bustle! I will bring a camera.

On Friday I went with my new doc to my venue so she could see the layout and to ask questions. Well, I learned that my idea for the chocolate daisy escort cards will not work! The venue sets up the table with the escort cards next to the guest book, so when people arrive they can sign the book, drop off their gift or card, and pick up their escort card. This stops any "bottle necking" when entering the reception. Well, that would mean that my guests would be holding a chocolate daisy sucker through an outdoor ceremony and cocktial hour in August -- not going to work! So, instead the venue will place one sucker on each plate as the favor and my guests will just pick up a regular escort card. Problem solved. So, now what do I do with the 21 silver buckets I bought?

One month to go!

2008-07-09T22:08:00.000-07:00

Yes, we will be married in one month and to celebrate we went to the court house and got our marriage license today. It was the easiest thing ever! Actually today was a very exciting day, in addition to getting our marriage license, the chocolate I ordered to make daisy suckers arrived and the sample paper I ordered for our table signs and escort cards arrived. So much wedding overload! Unfortunatly, the ink rubbed right off the paper I ordered, so now I have to make a decision: Do I have my heart set on Stardream Lagoon paper? If I do, how will I print on it? I could print on vellum and use it as an overlay, but then why buy such pretty stardream paper? Should I just go with a non-metallic paper? I need to figure this out soon.

I made a sample set of the daisy suckers; they are in the freezer right now. I'll be checking on them as soon as I log off.

My fmil called me at exactly 5pm tonight to remind me and fh that we would be married in exactly 1 month -- how cute is that!?

I'll write more soon -- please let me know if you have any suggestions for the stardream paper.

It is better to give...

2008-07-06T21:31:00.000-07:00

...than to receive? I've always loved giving gifts. I'm the type of person that not only puts a lot of thought into gifts for other people, but also collects gifts for friends throughout the year. I love wrapping them and I love giving them. But lately I've been wondering why; I mean, why do I love giving gifts? I think it is the great feeling I get when I watch the smile and expression of surprise on someone's face when they open the gift. But isn't that selfish? I mean ultimately I get joy out of gift giving, so isn't that just another form of selfishness? And what about gift getting? I never realized how much I love receiving gifts until I discovered the gift registry. It is addictive. It is a guilty pleasure that makes me feel so so guilty, and last night it got even worse. Last night I discovered the "manage thank you notes" button on my Macy's registry.

If you haven't discovered it yet, stay away, far, far, away. This button even has a warning, but did I listen? No. Before you can go to the thank you note manager you must check the box saying that you really want to go there, and then you can click on it ... and there it is, in all of its glory: a list of who bought you what and when they bought it!

Our THANK YOU CARD MANAGER tracks what gifts have been purchased from your registry and by whom, even if you have yet to receive the gift. While this is an invaluable tool for organizing your thank you notes, you may want to wait until after the occasion to use it if you like surprises. If you prefer to use this feature now please check the box below before proceeding (you can always act surprised later).

I've become addicted and my fiance has too. A typical night of watching t.v. and playing on my laptop: "Oh, honey look! Aunt M got us a Waterford pitcher yesterday, and Uncle B got us a potato masher!" And then there is the unbareable "name not provided", which becomes a guessing game for the evening. And then there are those gifts bought by people who haven't rsvp'd yet...hmmnn...

Are there any other registry stalkers out there? How do you cope?

Two shoes, blue shoes...

2008-07-04T09:47:00.000-07:00

No, this is not a new Dr. Suess rhyme; it is the solution to my wedding shoe dilemma! I'm not going to repost everything. So here is the short version: I've decided to be a two shoe bride, and possibly a three shoe bride. I will wear what I call a "Cinderella" shoe during the ceremony. This is the shoe my mom loves, and the heel is a little higher than the shoe I love. This is important because my wedding is outside and I won't let anyone hem my dress, so the higher heel will help keep the dress off the ground while outside, and my mom is happy because she won't be worried about people staring at my feet during the ceremony. Oh, yes, did I tell you that? She is seriously paranoid that if I wear blue shoes during the ceremony everyone will be looking at my feet instead of at me and my fh! The blue shoes have a lower heel and are much more comfortable, so I will wear them during the reception. I love these shoes! I had them dyed to match my bm dresses, and my bm's will be wearing silver shoes. I am also considering buying flip flops or slippers to keep under the table "just in case". So here are the shoes... what do you

think?

With this ring...

2008-07-02T18:56:00.000-07:00

The rings are done! It took two tries, but they are perfect. I did my best to take pics with my camera using the macro setting, and I forgot to clean my engagement ring before taking the photos, but I think they turned out pretty good. If you look closely you can see the camera reflection in his ring.

Each ring is engraved, his reads "Baby it's fact" and our wedding date, mine reads "our love is true" -- I tried to take pictures of the engraving, mine didn't turn out, but the pic of his is okay. The choice of words comes from our first dance song "Baby it's Fact" by Hellogoodbye.

There are quite a few people who think I am strange for wanting sapphires in my wedding band, saying that it "wasn't meant to be" when the band was made wrong the first time; so, I'm hoping these pictures will show everyone just how amazing the two rings look together.

I love this look so much and I can't believe it is mine! I hope that does not sound too materialistic, but I have never owned anything like this before. This is by far the most amazing piece of jewelry I've ever seen or owned!

Uh oh it's raining again...

2008-07-02T17:44:00.000-07:00

Finally, my shower post! My moh did an amazing job, and honestly my pictures don't do her justice. She took tons of pictures, so I will post those when she gives them to me. The theme was English Tea Party in a Daisy Shower -- okay, so I made that up, but you'll see what I mean. She had her backyard decorated with hanging white shower curtains, bright pink gerbera daisies, and buckets of shower stuff as center pieces. Of course, none of my pictures show this because I didn't think to pick up my camera until we moved inside!

My fmil and two fsil in sundresses and hats -- and lots of gifts.

Three of my bm's model the pottery barn robes I bought them as thank you gifts (my fourth bm is out of state).

My moh had each guest make a scrapbook page for me which she will add pictures to and give to me at the bachelorette party. All the good pics will be in the scrap book!

Not sure I can do this...

2008-06-29T21:32:00.000-07:00

I'm tired. Just plain tired. Seriously. My wedding is one month, one week, and four days away. I am currently teaching summer school M-TH, and taking master's classes Tues. & Thurs. from 4pm - 10pm. I feel like every moment of every day is planned. I have four papers due (2 for each class) that I haven't even started working on. I have escort cards to make, table cards to make, a seating chart to make, chocolate daisy suckers to make, chair signs to make, my veil to make, an aisle runner to order (or make?), a wedding arbor to buy or rent, music to select (I have not even thought about ceremony music), dance lessons to schedule, and I'm sure much more that I've forgotten. Yes, I know I can enlist my bm's, mom, and fmil to help me, but it still seems so overwhealming. When do I get time for me? How am I supposed to finish my master's classes?

The good news. I hired a day of coordinator to help me the day before the wedding and day of. She is the most organized person I've ever met. Hopefully her help will keep me from getting one of my stress migrains or stress ulcers. However, this still does not change the fact that I still have to get all this other stuff done.

Other good news. My fh seems to be getting interested in all of this. Today I got him to help out with a few things and finally get on his friends for not RSVPing.

I need sleep.

I'm a flake...

2008-06-24T18:49:00.000-07:00

Okay, yes I know I have not posted my shower pics yet. I will, soon, I promise! In the meantime, last night my fh and I went to the Death Cab for Cutie concert last night at the new Nokia Theater at LA Live. We are using their song, Soul Meets Body during our wedding ceremony. Two of my former students are singing an acoustic guitar version as a duet! I think it will be beautiful. The concert sounded amazing, and I highly recommend the Nokia Theater as a concert venue! It is a little smaller than Universal, and with better accoustics and parking. If you are interested in the lyrics to the song click here!

It's all about the bm's...

2008-06-22T10:37:00.000-07:00

Bridesmaids! I think it is odd that being a bride suddenly changes the meaning of "bm" to something wonderful, pretty, and fun! :-)

Where to begin? Well, first I found these amazing robes on sale at potterybarn.com (thanks to weddingbee) for only $20.00 each and free monograming -- so I immediatly bought one for each of my bm's (I decided to only use first and last inital because one of my bm's hates her middle name [it is Olga] and her initals would be NOB, which looks strange).
Left: The robes have arrived!

Once they arrived I had to figure out how I would present them to each bm, so I went to Target (the best store ever!) and bought some supplies, dug out my sicker maker and any other artsy supplies I could find, and walla -- I had a mess on on my living room floor. My fh made fun of me all day long; apparently it is "crazy" to diy all day but "normal" to play computer games all day -- go figure!

So, I decided to personalize each bag for the robes using my computer, some card stalk, a daisy punch, and my sticker maker. The final results:

Then, I decided that the robes just were not enough, so I went onto designhergals.com and created a gal pal for each of my bm's. I purchased the one day pass for $9.99 and printed away! First I made each of them a small note card/stationary set:

The note cards are on the left. Then, I decided that I would use the same gal pals to make their invitations to my bm's "brunch". Instead of a brunch, we are doing a breakfast and spa day 3 days before the wedding. (The basic invite is on the right). I'm doing breakfast at my house and then going to my favorite local spa Total Woman Gym and Day Spa to get pampered. I got each of them a swedish massage (my moh gets a maternity massage) and I am getting a massage and body scrub. I used all of the same supplies I used to decorate the gift bags to make the invitations. Here is the final product with all of the embellishments:

Left: Front of Invite ~~~~~~~~~~~Right: Back of Invite with their Spa Appointment Card

Whew! Okay. I'm going to eat lunch now and then I will post about the bridal shower!

Happy happy, joy joy!

2008-06-21T08:41:00.000-07:00

My bridal shower is today! I will post pics tomorrow. I had a diy day yesterday and I can't wait to post the pics for that as well -- but today I am busy, so it will wait. Honestly, I can't believer this shower is for me; this is way better than a birthday party! I drank a glass of wine before bed last night so I would sleep. My alarm went off and I had no problem getting up. After the shower my seamstress bm is going to pin me in my dress so she can begin alterations. It is all too exciting. I must say that today is the first day that any of this has felt real...

All curls...

2008-06-17T22:04:00.000-07:00

I had my final hair and make-up trial on Monday night and I must say that I am very happy! The hair looks great in the photos, but we didn't get a chance to photograph the make-up in natural light because we didn't finish until it was dark outside. Trust me that it looks beautiful! She did my hair half up first and then all up; I think I like it all up better, but I like the idea of being able to take it down for the plane flight to Jamaica. I had my hair cut on Saturday and she cut the bangs too short, so the front isn't exactly the way I wanted --but it will be for the wedding. Also, she will add a little more height on top --in the photo it looks flatter than it really is because she took the photo looking down at me. Okay, that is enough rambling, here are the pics! I went to Y Beauty Studio in West Hills (the Valley); Diona Rhynard was my make-up artist and hairstylist.

Up vs. Down

Bottom right picture, me sans make-up -- don't look too close!

Wedding bands are ready...not!

2008-06-11T19:45:00.001-07:00

When we ordered the engagement ring I asked for diamonds and sapphires in the band. We set it up so that my fh would pick up the ring and I wouldn't get to see it until he proposed. So, when he proposed I was shocked to see that my ring had no sapphires in it! We discussed it and decided that it looked beautiful the way it was and that I could get sapphires in the wedding band. So, I went today to pick up our wedding bands... and no sapphires! Again! Ugh. The jeweler promptly apologized after remembering that we talked about the sapphires for over an hour. It is a custom ring and it will need to be recast, but luckily they still have the mold so it will only take a week or two this time. The funny thing is that the ring without the sapphires is worth $200 more than we paid, and he thinks it might be tough to sell because it is a size 4 1/2. He is going to engrave our rings for free to help "make up" for the mistake. Our first dance song is "Baby it's Fact" by HelloGoodbye. So, we will have our rings engraved with...

His Ring: 08.09.08 Baby its fact My Ring: our love is true

The date won't fit on mine, but I think it is cute that combined our rings will have the chorus of the song and our wedding date. :-)

Shower anyone?

2008-06-11T19:16:00.000-07:00

My moh is the best! I've been wanting to post my bridal shower invite for awhile now, but I didn't have a way to edit out the addresses and names, but now I think I have figured it out. My moh made the invitations herself and, from what I understand, the entire bridal shower is diy. I can't wait to see everyone dressed up in their sundresses and hats! Double click on the image so you can see the cute poem she wrote.

Four facts on my fh...

2008-06-09T21:56:00.000-07:00

Here are my four facts on Mr. Calioc

Mr. Calioc was one of those bright kids that knows they will go to college and become a lawyer, and that is exactly what he did. He went to UCLA and studied political science and then went to Boalt School of Law, where he promptly decided that he hated law. He decided to finish anyway so he could work long enough to pay off his student loans. He floated through Boalt playing video games and ditching class. After giving up on law he decided to become a teacher -- middle school history.
He has issues with eating food that "sounds" strange to him. It is difficult to define what "sounds" strange to him, but here are a few: Anything with the word "bake" in it -- like "Fish Bake" or "Clam Bake", foods that are casseroles, and a whole list of things I just can't think of at the moment (I will update as soon as my brain turns back on).
Mr. Calioc loves cats; he even talks to my cat. He used to do it when he thought I couldn't hear him, but now he does it in front of me. He has entire conversations with him and he has a different voice when he pretends to be the cat answering back. I hope this isn't tmi!
He loves cookies. This is not a normal liking of cookies, this is almost an obsession. If I don't cook, he will eat cookies instead, and they aren't even good cookies -- He likes the basic chocolate chip cookies from Chips Ahoy! Cookies for breakfast is his favorite. This morning I wasn't able to make his lunch because we are out of lunch meat, so he packed a baggie full of cookies!

Ladies in blue...

2008-06-09T21:27:00.001-07:00

First, I have to give credit to Lady T for giving me this idea. The picture is from David's Bridal "dress your wedding". The dress the bride is wearing is NOT my dress, but it was the closest one I could find to mine in David's Bridal. Yes, each of my bridesmaids is wearing a different dress. They will all be wearing silver shoes, and I will be wearing shoes the color of their dresses. The two dresses that are strapless in the picture, won't be strapless for the wedding. One of my bm's is a seamstress, so she is doing all of the alterations and adding straps to the dresses that need them. Two of my bm's are redheads, one is a very dark brunette, and the other a light brunette. Each bm has a completely different body type, not even close to the ones in the picture. Picture them each carrying three yellow gerbera daisies with silver ribbon. My moh will be about 5 months prego on the wedding date and she looks so cute in her dress!

I'll write more later...

Nothing out there for mom?

2008-06-08T20:33:00.000-07:00

I just spent the entire day shopping for mob dresses with my mom. We went to two malls: South Coast Plaza and Main Place, and found NOTHING at either! Seriously, the only dresses that Nordstrom's had were over $650 (that's how much my wedding dress was!) and all the other stores only had overly sequined evening gowns or prom dresses. It was horrible. If mom was 35 and a size 8 it would have been no problem, but my mom is 57 and a size 16. We did find one dress at JC Penny, but it was cheap polyester that itched and looked cheap. Ugh. We finally got home just over an hour ago and started looking online. It seems as if the stores carry a lot of stuff online that they don't have in the stores. My mom ended up purchasing the dress pictured below from Nordstroms.com. She isn't in love with it, but she figures it is better than nothing and she can always return it if she gets lucky and finds something she loves later. Ugh. Anyone else having the same issue? (David's Bridal, Alfred Angelo, Macy's, Ann Taylor, etc... no luck!)

Can't sleep alone...

2008-06-03T01:11:00.000-07:00

It is 1am and I am wide awake. My fh is at a conference, so I am spending the night alone (not exactly, Poe [my cat] is here with me). I was hoping that checking my email, stalking my registery, and posting on weddingbee would make me sleepy, but no luck. So here I am, posting on my blog with really nothing to say. I am also stressed about work, school, and the wedding right now, so that is not helping either. Summer classes for my master's program just started last week, and they are already killing me -- what was I thinking?! I had my first day of Promethean Board training today, so that is just one more thing to add. Okay, I am totally going off topic. The point is -- I don't like going to bed without him. Simple as that. Okay, I guess I am going to try to curl up with Poe now. Good night.

Stealth Settings...

2008-06-02T13:49:00.000-07:00

I really wanted to post this last night, but there was just no way around my fh seeing the pictures, so I am being a very bad girl and posting from work! Stealthy... I have the dress... I went on Sunday with my fmil, moh, and one bm to try it on for the first time and it is amazing on me!!! I love it!! I cannot express enough how happy I am. I ordered a size smaller than what was recommended, and I am glad I did because even the size 6 is a little big (in the bust area). I am by no means a small busted woman, but I do have very narrow shoulders, so I am sure that is the problem. The veil I bought won't work, so I am going to have to rethink that one -- there is no way I'm paying $200 for the veil I tried on at the bridal shop. My moh took a gazzillion pictures, and I look very strange in most of them because she never warned me when she was going to take the pictures! So, I will do my best to give a small blurb for each picture posted.

1. Front of dresss (no shoes on) 2. Back of dress 3. "Haute Couture" pose -- this is me making fun of the stupid hunched bridal poses in all of the wedding magazines. 4. Close up of beading detail - if you look closely you can see how the top doesn't fit.

Dress Stress

2008-05-25T09:15:00.000-07:00

More on the dress... So, I originally wanted a very non-traditional 1940's Hollywood style dress (similar to Guilty Secret) and when I tried these dresses on they looked great -- but they were not comfortable. So, I had to rethink, do I really want to be uncomfortable for 6 hours? On the next wedding dress try I brought my mom with me, and she talked me into trying on more "traditional" dresses, but ones that still had my sense of style. I was surprised at how many were out there! I eventually fell in love with just about every Maggie Sottero dress I tried on; I think I designed for her in another life. I finally decided on the Maggie Sottero "Colby" dress, it is strapless with some sworovoski beading detail at the bust, slightly ruched at the side, with a long flowing double layered skirt and a corset back. What makes this dress so great is that I can move in it, and similar to the earlier dresses I was looking at, there is no need for a fancy underwear set (I really hate "wedding" underwear -- it is just too much)-- I can get away with just wearing a cute thong and nothing else. Great!

So, then it was time to get measured and order the dress; this is where all of my dress stress comes in. According to the Maggie Sottero sizing chart my bust and hips fit the size 6 dress, but my waist fit the size 8 dress. The ladies at the bridal shop all insisted that I order the size 8 dress (I tried on a size 12 in the store, as they did not have any samples in smaller sizes). Their reasoning was that it is easier to alter a dress from big to small than the other way around. I asked them to leave the room so I could confer with my peeps. First, when they measure you they put two fingers underneath the measuring tape, adding an inch to the "real" measurement. Second, the back of the dress is a corset! In a bold step we decided that I could lose an inch or two around my waist if need be, but there was no way I was going to buy the larger dress and guarantee that I would have to pay at least another $200 (most likely more) for alterations.

So, I ordered the size 6. I have not lost any weight (as I don't really feel I need to), and I have not done any sit-ups to get my waist smaller (as I am lazy). My dress is in and I get to try on MY dress for the first time next weekend, and I am starting to stress. All of the "what ifs" are starting to get to me. Seriously, if it doesn't fit what do I do? The bridal shop made me sign a document stating that I would not hold them liable if the dress does not fit because I did not take their advice. Is there a way to get my waist smaller without loosing weight between now and and August 9th? How do I do that with my complete lack of self-discipline? Okay, I know, I should wait until I try the dress on before freaking out, but all of this is going through my head and I can't stop it. The next fear -- that the added fingers in the measuring tape actually make the size 6 dress too big for me, and now I still have to get it altered anyway! Ugh. In all of my dress trying-on experience I never once got to try on a wedding dress that actually fit me, so it was all just measurments and guesswork. Okay, venting done. Sorry. Hopefully my next post will be the wonderful and positive experience of getting my dress.

The Dress...

2008-05-23T22:07:00.000-07:00

I just got THE phone call... my dress is in! I'm trying to coordinate with my bridesmaids, or at least my maid of honor, to go with me for my first fitting. Whoo hoo! I'll write more later.

Tuxes and Wedding Bands...

2008-05-17T23:19:00.000-07:00

Today was a very productive day! I finally got Mr. Calioc out to look at wedding bands and tuxes. He was super easy to please when it came to his wedding band. He picked a yellow gold band that is very simple with some small detailing around the edges. It looks like the picture below, but I think is is a litte wider. We are also having the jeweler make my wedding band.

Since we had my engagement ring made to look lik the Tiffany Novo (but in 18k yellow gold), we decided to do the same with the wedding band. It will look like the Novo Wedding Band, except that it will have sapphires and diamonds! I can't wait! They said it should be ready in about three weeks.

We went to Men's Wearhouse for the tuxes. Sorry, I haven't been able to get the pictures from their website to post properly. The grooms men will be wearing "pool" vests and ties, Mr. Calioc will wear an off-white vest and tie, and my brother will wear the "oasis" vest and tie.

Unfortunatly, I naturally picked out the most expensive tux they have for rent -- it is by Calvin Klein. I decided to have the groomsmen match my bridesmaids, and have Daryl match me.

Now the only real big thing on my list is hair -- still have not found anyone to do our hair.

I think I have found a day of coordinator, but I won't know for sure until June 6th because she got married TODAY and will be on her honeymoon.

Bye for now!

Invitations, RSVP's, and other Rants...

2008-05-14T20:45:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, I've neglected my blogging and now I am so far behind I'm not sure where to begin! First off -- I mailed my invitations!! Woot Woot! They went in the mail this past Saturday, May 10th and I received my first RSVP on Monday! So far I have 15 RSVP's. My bestfriend's mom, let's call her bfm, called my parents sounding very confused. Apparently she hadn't connected the return address on the envelope to the phone number for the RSVP. So, she called my parents and said, "Um, I'm not exactly sure who I am calling, but I need to RSVP for the wedding." My mom then said, "Okay, I'm calioc's mom, who am I talking to", and bfm replied with her first name, which of course meant nothing to my mom. After a little more awkward bumbling it finally came out that bfm wasn't sure if she was going to be able to make it to the wedding, and just wanted us to know that she would try to get a shift change at work and that she wasn't sure how to go about RSVPing online, so she thought it would be best to call. My mom said it was rather funny and that she hopes that not everyone who isn't sure if they can go calls; she'd rather them wait until they know to RSVP.

I think I found a place that will dye my shoes; I'm going there after work tomorrow, so wish me luck! It also looks like we will finally go look at wedding bands and tuxes this weekend. I will update on Sunday with all of the details.

Okay, that is it for now. I will (hopefully) do a better job of keeping this updated in the future!

Blog tag...

2008-05-01T21:16:00.000-07:00

So I was visiting one of my favorite blogs "for the lack of money" and came accross her link for "broom jumping bride" and while reading her blog I found these rules for playing Blog Tag:

1. Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
2. Share 5 things that you look forward to about your wedding.
3. Tag 1 new person to keep it going.
4. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

So, now I finally get to reach back into my childhood and play tag again! What fun!

More blue shoes...

2008-04-30T19:34:00.000-07:00

I think I have finally found THE shoe! Okay, so it is slightly more complicated than that. First, I saw this red shoe on weddingbee.

Then (with the help of some bees), I found this shoe on Zappos.

I am pretty positive that it is the same shoe, so I'm thinking I can dye the shoes the proper color! So, where do I dye shoes? David's Bridal only dyes shoes purchased there. I've heard that payless dyes shoes, so I need to check there -- but please let me know if you know of any other places that dye shoes in so cal.

So, it is still not over -- Zappos only has the shoe in ivory, so I went ahead and purchased it in ivory; then I found it on endless.com in white, so I purchased those too! I know, crazy, but you never know! BTW-- I've already returned all of the other shoes I purchased.

My attempt at DIY...

2008-04-27T19:41:00.000-07:00

So, the question is "how to do seating cards"? I know that the easy way is to simply have a small card with each person's name and their table name on the card and have them sitting in alphabetical order on a table. However, I saw these really cute pails at Target and had to buy them -- they match my daisy theme and one of my colors! But, what to do with them??? ( I bought 21 of them)

Then, my fmil gave me a chocolate daisy sucker for easter, and an idea came to me! I can make each guest a chocolate candy sucker (I've already found molds on ebay) with a tag hanging off of it with their name and table. But, how to display them??? I could just have the suckers lying on the table, but then I remembered the pails!!! I'm thinking I can use the pails to display 8 or 10 of the suckers fore guests to grab and find their table. So, today I played around with the idea, and the pictures below are the result. Now, I only have one sucker to work with right now, so you'll have to imagine it with more (about 8)... but you get the idea!

Here is how I did it. First I ran some turquoise ribbon through my Zyron sticker maker and used that on the top and bottom of the pail, then I put styrofoam inside the pail with spanish moss on top, and then I stuck the sucker in! Voila! All done in less than 5 minutes.

So, what do you think? Is it too cheesey? What can I do to make it look/work better? I will admit that I had no idea how expensive styrofoam was -- so I may need to find an alternative to that. Any ideas??

Blue Shoes...

2008-04-20T18:31:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I have this idea in my head that I want to wear blue shoes with my wedding dress. I haven't had much luck finding "the ones" -- I ordered 10 pairs from endless.com and from zappos.com, of which only 2 pair fit and only 1 looked good -- but not quite right. So, here is my idea. I really like the pair of Nine West shoes I got, but they are too plain for my wedding. So, I was thinking that I could use some AB Clear Swarovoski crystals to add some "bling" to the shoes. First I thought I would just add a small little "flower of crystals" at the center of the front strap, but now I am thinking that I should add clusters of these little "flowers" on the entire front of the shoe. So, first there is a picture of the shoes -- the right shoe has one of the little crystal "flowers" I made on it. Then there is a close up of the flower I made -- it is not glued or sewen on, simple "tied" on with clear stretchy beading string. I'm thinking I can continue the pattern all along the strap. The other pair of shoes are the ones I bought at Macy's with my mom. I like them, but I kinda want something a little different. What do you think???

Thoughts, ideas, and opinions please...

Make-up Preview

2008-04-20T11:56:00.000-07:00

Hello! I am finally back to posting about my wedding. Sorry for the hiatus, just been swamped at work. I've paid to have three make-up previews, and I think I've finally found someone I can work with! She uses mineral make-up (which I wear everyday) and she knows how to make it matte (mineral make-up has a tendency to shine or glow in pictures). The pictures I am posting are of 1) immediatly after the preview outside her studio at around 3:00 in the afternoon, 2) & 3) later that night at dinner around 9pm. The only touch-up I made was lipstick. I think the make-up wore very well. Maybe I need more blush? I am planning on wearing longer eyelashes on the wedding day -- especially on the outer corners. Okay -- opinions please! I am also open to suggestions!!

Hair comes the... Oh sorry, we're booked!

2008-04-05T11:45:00.000-07:00

If you don't want to read a gripe then stop here... Here is the story... My fsil cancelled her wedding over a year before the scheduled date, most of her vendors returned the "non-refundable" deposits, except "Hair Comes the Bride". She left them a $150 deposit for a hair and make-up preview and to hold her date. My fmil called them about two weeks ago and explained to them that her son is engaged and asked if I could use my fsil's deposit. They said yes and confimed that my August 9th date was available, she gave them my phone number and they said they would contact me. After not hearing from them (I waited a week), I went ahead and called them. I called around 4 in the afternoon and got a voicemail message, I left a message with my number and told them to call anytime after 3:00. The next day they called and left me a message at 2pm. I called back around 3pm and left a message (this message game went on for a week) -- apparently this business does not answer their phones. On Thursday I was contacted around 2pm and the message said that she would be in the office until 4:30pm. I got the message at 4:00 and called back right away, once again I got voicemail. Yesterday (Friday) I got off work early, so this time I was able to answer when they called. Finally! I was so happy to finally be able to set up my preview. The lady took all of my information and then put my on hold to check her datebook. She came back on the line and said that they were unavailable for my date. I was shocked -- I explained to her that my fmil called two weeks before and confirmed that my date was available and that the deposit could be transferred to me. The lady said that that was 2 weeks ago, and now the date is booked. I tried explaining to her that she never contacted me after my fmil called her -- that I had to contact her and that I left numerous messages. Her response was "Well, we have a non-refundable deposit, and since we are already booked on your date there is nothing we can do." She didn't even say sorry. I asked her why she didn't mark my date as booked when my fmil called to transfer the deposit to me, and she said because she hadn't talked to me --then I asked why she didn't call me asap after talking to my fmil and she just repeated that the money is non-refundable. Her name is Melissa (pronounce MayLisa).
Okay -- sorry so long -- I told her that in a service based industry you are supposed to work with your customers, and that it seemed like she had just decided that the $150 deposit was "Free" money and she didn't want to have to work for it, so she booked my date (if it is even really booked) after my fmil called so she wouldn't have to do my hair and make-up. She said "believe what you want to believe, the contract is non-refundable".
So -- I understand the Non-Refundable deposit thing -- that is not the issue. This company obviously has no respect for its customers and does not understand the meaning of customer service. I strongly suggest that no one uses this company for their hair and make-up. In addition, I am going to be spreading the word not to use them anywhere I can.
Sorry for the long post.. anyone know of an affordable hair person in so cal? (I've already got a make-up person lined up).

Flowers...

2008-03-29T15:52:00.000-07:00

I just got home from the LA flower district and I am soooo glad I went there! I ended up getting ALL of my wedding flowers for under $700! 18 center pieces, 6 corsages, 10 boutonnieres, 4 bridesmaid bouquets, my bouquet, and flowers for the arbor. I am so excited. I priced all of this online and it worked out to be over $1500. I put $100 down, and the balance is due 1 month before the wedding. The picture is of the "mock" center piece they made for me to take home. The center pieces are yellow margarita daisies, white gerberas, fern, and baby's breath in glass square vase, with 3 yellow gerberas coming out of the top with a white ribbon. My bridesmaids will be carrying three yellow gerberas wrapped with silver ribbon, and I will be carrying a bouquet of white margarita daisies with yellow gerberas and fern.

The invitations are here!

2008-03-24T19:23:00.000-07:00

When I came home from running errands this afternoon, there they were, waiting for me on the porch in a plain brown box. I ran up the stairs and knew that inside that boring box were my invitations -- exciting! I opened it right away to inspect my loot, and saw how perfect they are! So happy!
Here is a link to my invites: Invitations by Dawn -- the text is in Turquoise and we went with the pearl lined envelopes to match the daisies on the invite!

Spring Break...

2008-03-23T09:09:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been a busy bee over the past week, and this week is going to be even crazier because I'm on spring break. So, last weekend my moh and I went to LA to:

Look at wedding cakes in China town
Check out hotels in Westwood
Find a decent nail salon in Westwood
Find a place that does hair and make-up (for a reasonable price) in Westwood

I would consider this trip one of the most successful we've been on. We managed to not only look at wedding cakes, but after only an hour pick one I liked and order it! I love China town -- we ended up getting it at Wonder Bakery. I'd post a picture, but the only pic I have was taken with my moh's cell phone and the cake was behind glass with bad lighting. It is a sweet and simple cake -- only two layers, one 10" and one 8" round. The cake is called "bridal white" and it has fresh strawberries w/bavarian creme filling. It will be frosted with whipped cream and decorated with buttercream daisies that look like they are "growing" from the bottom layer and lady bugs on the leaves. Yummy! Best of all it feeds between 75 - 85 people for only $185.00! Ok, so yes I know we are having more than 85 people at our wedding, but we are also doing a Vienesse sweet table, so I don't see the point in having enough cake for everyone. We also ordered a birthday cake for my grandma - she is turning 90 the day of our rehearsal dinner, so we are throwing a suprise party at the rehearsal!

We also made a hotel reservation! After looking at a few near the UCLA campus, we finally decided to get the "mega suite" at the W. It was cheaper for all the bm's and me to chip in and pay for one suite than have us each get our own room . The suite has 2 bedrooms, 2 couches (one pullout bed), two bathrooms with a total of 3 sinks, 2 showers, and a separate bathtub. It is 1,200 sq ft -- that is almost double the size of my condo!

Nail Salon -- there were so many and they all charge between $25 - $35 for mani/pedi -- so we are going down again this Thursday to check them out.

Hair and Make-up -- Me and two of my bm's have appointments to do hair and make-up this Thursday at a place called Ali's. The owner was very funny and said he would work with our budget. I'll keep you updated.

Okay, so now this week I have a ton of appointments for make-up and hair, I'm getting my hair colored again (it has been a long time), I'm going to the LA flower district, and I have an appointment for eyelash extensions (for our engagement photo on April 6th). What fun!

Flower Inspiration: Centerpeices

2008-03-20T21:30:00.000-07:00

A little color; simple and maybe a little wild.

Round and full; good color contrast

Modern and simple; but a little on the wild side.

Sweet and simple; but a little wild.

So, what do you think? So far my bridesmaids are all leaning towards #2.

It's a brand new day...

2008-03-09T14:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, so last night I went to my fmil's house to go over the invite list. My family is inviting about 50 people (35 that I think can make it to the wedding). So, my fh and I decided that his family would also be allowed to invite 50 people. Well, we went through the list and before we got to the "out of country" invitees (whom we know won't be able to make it, so I guess they don't count) we were at over 78 people. Just when I was about to mention to my fmil that cuts would need to be made, my fh's grandpa walked in the room. He asked how everything was going, and I said "fine", then he said, "I'd like to help out, I'd like to give you $5000 towards the wedding." OMG! I didn't know what to do; in my family that would be such a big deal. As it is, my parents are giving us $10,000 for the wedding, and this is a HUGE deal. I am paying for the rest of the expenses myself, and my fh is paying for the honeymoon. Grandpa told me that the money was to be used on the wedding and not the honeymoon and that he wanted us to be able to invite whomever we wanted without worrying. I cried. Wow. My fh said that he wasn't surprised because grandpa has money and no way to spend it. He also thinks it funny that grandpa is giving me the moneyand not him. So now things have changed a bit. The wedding will be bigger than planned, 150 instead of 100 guests, and now I can hire a florist (was diy) and I can get a wedding cake. I'm also going to buy a digital video camera and have my brother video the wedding for us. I still can't believe it. Now I won't have to put everything on credit and we can start our marriage debt free! I'm all smiles today!

My dress...

2008-03-06T21:19:00.000-08:00

My dress! I wanted something that would flow and move with my body, sparkle in the sunlight, and flatter my figure. I found the dress awhile ago, I've tried it on a million times, and now I've decided to share it with everyone. I love this dress -- it is perfect for me.

On the right is the back of the dress -- except I won't have a bow on my butt. The bow actually tucks inside so it can not be seen. Also, the panel under the laces won't be there, so my back will be visible all the way down.

On the left is the front of the dress. It is difficult to see in the picture, but there are sworovoski crystals all over the dress and the skirt has "tulip" shape that has crystals all along the edges. Both pictures are from maggiesottero.com.

Hair and Make-up...

2008-03-06T21:05:00.000-08:00

Okay, so now I am beginning my hair and make-up research. I actually did a preview with a make-up artist a few weeks ago, and I was VERY disappointed. I wonder, why pay someone to do something that I do every day? But, then people remind me that I should have a "stress free" wedding day, and having someone else do my hair and make-up will allow me to not have to worry. So, I have two more previews scheduled. I just hope they go better. The quotes I've gotten vary from $400 for the Bride and $100 for the Bridesmaids to $135 for the bride and $65 for the bridesmaids. The wierd thing is that the expensive quote came from someone who is supposedly straight out of school and building her portfolio. I've already decided to get eyelash extensions instead of wearing temporary false lashes. I'm going to Puff Beauty Salon in Pasadena to get my eyelashes done, and I've decided to get them done in April for the engagement photos as a "trial run". Ok, I've got some internet research to do. Bye!

Spa Day!

2008-03-01T21:55:00.000-08:00

Hello! I belong to the best gym in the world -- Total Woman Gym and Atmosphere Day Spa -- and I am a "spa" member, meaning that I get one massage or facial a month included in my membership. Now, generally I would not be able to afford such a luxury, but when I joined 3 years ago they had an educators special that could not be beat, and they never raise the monthy rate. So, once a month for the last three years I've been getting a massage. So, today I went in for my monthly massage and two great things happened. First, they are running a special for current spa members to upgrade for only $35.00 extra a month to a two treatment plan -- so now I get a massage and a facial once a month! Which is great because I always ended up buying the facial anyway (which is $70.00). Second, they are running a special to purchase three treatments on a gift card for the same price as two treatments, so I decided to buy each of my bridesmaids a massage. The plan is to have a bridesmaid "spa day" the week of the wedding! I am so excited!

On another note, I am finishing my guest list by next weekend so I can order my invitations! Now I need to start thinking about wording...

Bye for now!

teenagers or kids, that is the question...

2008-02-29T11:46:00.000-08:00

So, the biggest fight I've had with my mom (so far) about the wedding is that my fh and I don't want to invite kids. Here is the post I just left on weddingbee:

So, after incessant fighting with my mother I have given in to one of her demands-- technically we compromised, but now I have another problem. My fh and I did not want to invite kids to the wedding and our definition of a child is anyone under the age of 18. The compromise is that we will now allow teenagers at the wedding, which is apparently defined as anyone 13 or older.
So, here is the problem... How do I word that on an invitation??? What if one family has a 15 yr old, a 13 yr old, and a 10 yr old?? How do I now exclude one, but not the others? Not inviting kids was easy, address the envelope to the invited adults and put "adult reception immediately following ceremony" at the bottom of the invite. Now I have no idea what to do???

I need to order my invitations by the end of this month. Apparently, I have already hurt some family members feelings because my mother told people that we were not inviting kids. I don't know why she did that -- up until this point we'd only been TALKING about it, no decisions had been made. This is all very frustrating. Ugh.

odds and ends

2008-02-27T16:37:00.000-08:00

Staying home sick sucks. Ugh. However, one good thing about it is that I've had lots of time to think. I'm feeling much better about the whole wedding thing. After some of the advice that I've gotten from the comments on my blog and from Weddingbee, I really think I am going to be able to pull this off. So, here is my brainstorm:

If I get fresh daisy plants they can be placed next to the chairs along the aisle for the wedding and then they can be used as center pieces for my tables.
Each bridesmaid can hold one yellow gerbera daisy with a ribbon.
My bouquet will be simple with shasta daisies with ribbon tying them together.

So, I think that will cut down on my flower costs. Next item, make-up and hair:

Unless I find a great deal, I've decided to do my own make-up
I found a place in Pasadena that has affordable prices for eyelash extensions -- I think that I'd rather spend my money on something that will last at least through the honeymoon than on my make-up.
I'm going with my mh to look for a hair salon/stylist close to the wedding site. Hopefully we can find someone/someplace that will work

I've already purchased 144 turquoise candle holders with votives for decorations. I'm thinking that I don't need to spend any money on extra "party favors" and that I can let the guests each take a votive home instead. I've always thought that most favors were a little silly, and the only favor my fh and I agree on would cost us over $230 and is a little silly -- rulers that say "love rules".

Okay, my medicine is starting to kick in so I gotta go now.

Who to invite?

2008-02-24T21:05:00.000-08:00

My fh and I aren't big on inviting children to our wedding, and since we are on a tight budget, figure that it should be an adults only affair. However, my mom and my fmil disagree. My fmil hasn't been as vocal, but her first list of possible invitees included quite a few teenage family members. My mom, on the other hand, has been very vocal and has even hung-up on me when talking about. She has also had a case of selective amneisa -- forgetting things we have discussed and even imagining me saying things! I don't want to fight with my mother, afterall she is my mother and my parents are contributing the largest amount of money to our wedding. But I wanted that money to be able to cover more than just the food. At the rate we are going, the my fh and I are going to have to cover all costs excluding the food and location. This puts us way over our initial budget. My mom was so upset about the no children thing that she has added an extra $1000.00 to our budget to cover the cost of any teenagers. This is a very generous gesture, but she doesn't seem to understand that even with that extra money my fh and I can't afford the wedding decorations, flowers, and favors that people expect from us. At this point I have hired the cheapest photographer (one that offered a "digital only" package with no albums) and dj we could find. And, what about flowers? I looked at flowers online at Costco, but even their flowers are out of our budget. I love daisies, but they aren't popular right now, so I can't get real prices right now. Costco doesn't have daisies on their website. I am hoping that I can go to the flower district in downtown LA over spring break to look at flowers, but I don't think dasies are popular until the summer. I just want simple white shasta dasies with a few yellow gerbera daisies-- nothing fancy. Then there is wedding cake. I'm not a big fan of cake, and I really dislike the big and gawdy wedding cakes that everyone displays. So, I decided not to have wedding cake. This did NOT go over very well. So, now my moh has volunteered to make me a small and simple cake that we can cut just to make my mom and fmil happy. I'm letting her do it because I don't want to argue with anyone about it. If anyone asks me about the cake I can just say "it's taken care of". Our receptiong dinner includes a viennese sweet table, so I don't see why we have to feed everyone cake on top of that. Ugh. Ok, sorry for the rant. On the upside, I am even more exicted than ever about the honeymoon.

Jamaica Baby!

2008-02-19T21:52:00.000-08:00

So, my fh just told me that he was able to upgrade our honeymoon in Jamaica from 6 nights to 7 nights and now we have a honeymoon suite with butler service and a private pool - and this is the best part -- it is actually costing us $15.00LESS than what had originally reserved! I knew there was a reason why I love that man!

Just getting started...

2008-02-18T19:17:00.000-08:00

So, I'm sitting here on my couch perusing the usual wedding websites and blogs, when it suddenly occurs to me that just reading about the dilemmas of other brides isn't doing it for me anymore. I need to vent myself, and I am certain that my mh is getting sick of me calling with all of my troubles. My other bm's are sick of it too, I am sure. So, I've decided to start this online journal to help me through the next seven months or so.

About the title "The Road Less Traveled" - First, I love this poem, and though for some it may seem that planning a wedding isn't exactly the least traveled road, for me it has been a very long journey that took many paths off of the main road. I will be 35 by the time I get married, and though it is my first everything just feels so much different. We are both "settled". We both work in Education and we own a home in the OC. So, life is pretty good; however, our income is well below that of our student's parents and most of our friends. Most everyone we know is a college graduate, and most of them chose not to go into education -- most are in business, law, medicine, etc.. So, here we are trying to plan a wedding for family and friends, on a very small budget in the OC. The AVERAGE wedding here runs $35,000! That is six grand more than I made my first year teaching. Our wedding budget is $12,000, so let the games begin!